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Wednesday, 24 July 2013

My faith renewed in Sony.


I wish to confess now that some time ago, I committed one of gaming's cardinal sins, and for this I am truly sorry.

For I did dare bring up the lack of native BC (backwards compatibility) in regards to Sony's next generation console the PS4, as a negative.

Gaming's lord and saviour, the all mighty PS4, the 4th incarnation of our one and only true home gaming console, it is of course beyond criticism, for our great, powerful and wise lord Sony is love and by extension all that Sony produces and publishes is in fact love, and we must not question love but only openly and graciously accept it.

In my bout of madness the other day, I made accusations that the great and benevolent Sony's decision to neglect incorporating native BC into their new console was not due to the inevitable incredible pricing and/or superior advanced next generation architecture of PS4, but in fact was left out as an attempt to attack and eventually put an end to the vile tyrant that is 'the used games market' by making all previous games redundant, also seemingly making our investment in Sony's previous software near meaningless since any and all previous games in both their hard copy and digital forms will not be able to be carried over.

How blind I was to even consider this...

My eyes where opened to the truth however, in a dream, nay a vision, that I had only last night and now I will describe this vision and share a wondrous message with you all, from the great and all powerful Sony.

In my dreams last night a great and all encompassing light appeared to me, then in a voice that echoed to my very core it spoke "we are Sony" struck by awe and in my disbelief, I uttered "And what is it Sony would want with me?" The light suddenly began to shine brighter and brighter! Until the sheer sight of it was near blinding, then Sony spoke again "You dared to question our will, Sony's will, all previous software and hardware is inferior to PS4, PS4's software line up makes all previous software redundant " "But why?" why I asked " Why is BC not implemented into PS4 when both PS2 and PS3 supported it in the past?" "You still dare question us?!" Sony boomed in a near defending voice "Sony is absolute! Therefore PS4 is absolute!"suddenly a sea of fire appeared in front of me, the sound of screams and torture could be heard all around me "be you a non believer? Or heretic!?" asked Sony "do you wish to join those who follow Microsoft unto their eternal death mines of the Xbots and their cruel masters the mind corrupting, kineticans?!" "No!" I yelled "please save me from this pit of death and anguish" then the sea of fire disappeared only to be replaced by a white void of nothingness, eerily quiet, so quiet in fact I could hear my own breathing, my heart beating, the sounds of my stomach churning and my blood circulating through my body "This void is unbearable I cried "where is this?!", "pergintendo" answered Sony "where nothing fucking exists for true hard core gamers!".

"Oh great Sony" I screamed "please save me from this void of nothingness!" suddenly the void was replaced by the bright light once again. While I lay prostrated upon the floor basking in Sony's glorious light, Sony spoke once again "If you still require proof of our wisdom and benevolence then witness for yourself, gaze upon our creation in all Sony's glory, PS4!" Suddenly out of the light came a magnificent figure, wonderful, beautiful, breathtaking in it's majesty, and eerily familiar "Do you see now non believer?" "Look upon the fleshy lips of PS4's flesh disc tray, see for yourself PS4's pulsating cranium which houses it's built in next generation wifi and bare witness to the numerous fleshy tentacles! Each fitted with integrated mind melding technology capable of jacking into any human meat bags brain and projecting a gaming experience directly into the mind that is near indistinguishable from reality!" Sony proclaimed "look upon PS4! Look upon the form of my child, do you see? DO YOU SEE?! SEEEEEEEE!!!" "Yes! Yes I see!" I cried, my face drenched in tears of joy for I knew now my folly as I bared witness to Sony's true next generation games console, nay Sony's one and only augmented reality producing master pod, PS4!. "Go now" spoke Sony "tell all those who follow the word of Sony that they are soon to experience gaming like never before! There is no need for BC, for there will be no past nor future, but only the now! The Sony! The PS4!!!" Once our message was that of "it only does everything" but now with the advent of PS4 we have a new message to spread "PS4, it is everything!".

Then as if a bolt of lightning had shot through my body I awoke, in a cold sweat, tears streaming down my face, then I wondered "was it all a dream?" at that moment as if meant as an answer to my question, a voice echoed in my mind, go forth my disciple, join the likes of Kaz Hirai and spread word that the advent of a new world for gamers, nay for all, is coming and we will make even those who oppose us believe" at E3 2013 all will become clear...

And there you have it, Sony is all powerful and all knowing after all, and you would have to be complete idiot (or heretic) to even think of questioning them in even the slightest...

OK, this blog was going to be a rant on people just blindly accepting what publishers and developers do and even outright defending them based off of barely formed theories they've pulled out of thin air, but instead I went for a more satirical and humorous blog, it's just my way of poking fun at those of us who refuse to see or even question certain decision that any of the the big three make (Sony, Microsoft and/or Nintendo) the same goes for many publishers and developers for that matter (coff EA, Activision coff).

The satire ends here by the way. 

Thanks for reading.

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